Dear future self,
I hope you recognise me as I say all of this to you. I have a lot of good wishes for you, I hope a lot of good things to happen in your life. I hope you reach the top you’ve defined for yourself. I hope you never stop trying to reach the star that you believe belongs to only you. I hope you never settle with your hunger to learn more and to acquire more knowledge. I hope you carry the same heart as you do now. I hope you do not allow the dirt from society to stain the white satin of your conscience. I hope you stop beating yourself up for leaving one box unchecked on your bucketlist. I hope you occasionally allow yourself to breathe out of your tightly packed schedule. I hope you let your failures sink in and accept your mistakes. I hope you feel sorry for your mistakes the same way you do now and I hope you make efforts to correct them.
I just hope you find love in the middle of nowhere. I hope you find someone who can love you the way you’ll love him. I hope you’re not afraid of your emotions. I hope you allow yourself to be vulnerable. I hope you become stronger. I hope you learn to set boundaries.
I hope you learn to let go. I hope you learn to forgive. I hope you accept things the way they are and people for who they are and not for who you want them to be.
I hope you fall down only to learn to fly higher. I hope you get your heart broken only to learn to love harder. I hope people are mean to you only to introduce your soul to its kindness.
Despite all this, I hope you remain the same. I hope you don’t lose your identity, just to fit in. I hope you stay true to your feelings, to your emotions, to people around you and above all, to yourself.
I hope you laugh. I hope you live. Don’t just be alive, live. Hope for yourself to have faith in your hopes, because hope can take a life of its own and faith is the air it breathes.
Your younger self
Happy 22nd ❤️
PS- this post was supposed to be up on 2nd September that is my birthday but I got late with it due to my continuous engagements after that, but well, better late than never.
I don’t understand the concept of a well educated dogs unless the boy has been trained for military. I see no point in getting a trainer to put your baby through a whole set of ordeal in order for you to be able to flaunt him as civilised in front of your so called civilised clan. That’s pure animal abuse, using horrific methods to train them to a level of perfection called well trained.
Having said this, I know dogs are like people who have their own personalities. so some dogs may be able to learn and out perform others. And sometimes even without the use of any horrific method. What even is the point of such a training? Where would you get the heart to see your baby dog tormented to do something he isn’t up for?I mean let a dog be a dog, just like you would let a child chose his own path. I adopted this little prick you see in the picture as a few months old. And it was difficult for us to train him even to not shit around the house. Took us almost a month. He wouldn’t say hello for a long time. Or he wouldn’t understand sit or jump. But picked up quickly with repeated efforts.
So what I’m trying to say is love is the key. It has a certain charm, certain charisma to itself. It has the power, the courage to move mountains. And it has its way with almost everything that life touches. So why not use love instead of harsh methods to get them into the box.
For someone who didn’t know how to socialize well at school, someone who didn’t learn how to hide her emotions in front of people someone who just feels everything in the gut, someone who has a dominant heart; tears are her only second companion next to those feels.I would listen to a sad song and cry or watch an emotional movie and have tears streaming down my cheeks. Also I have a very bad habit of nodding while the characters deliver their dialogues😂. Tbh I didn’t even know that I do it until my brother pointed it out one day. And he does it every single time after that😂 he would always make fun of that nodding and of those tears. Our society has several stereotypes associated with people like me and the tagline is ’emotional fools’.With time I have tried to learn some of the deceptive measures to hide this aspect of my personality – no movie with people is one of those tactics. So next time if I say no for a movie, please understand😋
“If tears could pay, I’d be a billionaire by now.”
I heard him say it’s easier for some people to love a dog coz he is senseless and that is why it is difficult for them to love a person -so called human- who has some sense. I want to question him, “Have you experienced it, the kind of love you explain in your talks? Have you ever tried to exercise it yourself?” Lemme tell you I respect you from the bottom of my heart. I truly look up to you. But the kind of love you explain, I have never experienced it with people. Clearly, taking in consideration the fact that your words are true and it works exactly like that in the existing social structure – there can be only two possibilities; either I am defective or the people I meet. Let’s say I am defective with my extraterrestrial distorted DNA but still it doesn’t explain your stand that “kutta to hamesha range main rhta hai coz he is senseless.”
My question is, “If humans have more sense then shouldn’t they be more in range? Shouldn’t they be more adjusting of other people’s range?” The fact is human heart and mind are always in conflict and that leads to confusion and our this tendency to get confused easily leads to complications in our lives. A complex heart meeting another complex heart leads to a complicated relationship and this is the beauty of human relations.
But what’s more beautiful is a relationship with a dog or be it any other animal for that matter. They are simple hearted old souls. And their this ability balances the complexity of a human heart and I guess that explains why it is easier for some people to love a dog rather than a human.
This cheerful happy face is a veil that hides my real emotional self.
Pain taught me to write maybe that’s why I’m able to describe it so well. I believe paper is the most patient. It’s a friend like no other. You can write as much as you can, you can show them your inner self, you can expose your deepest wounds, you can share your greatest fear; basically you can do everything here that you don’t trust a human with. And you can do all this without any fear of being judged. Maybe that is the reason my ink flows better on these low days, because I write things that I feel I cannot share with anybody but my diary.
I remember the first time I wrote something was a letter to my mother , about how deeply hurt I was and how miserable I was feeling because of all the fiasco happening in my life at that point of time. But I could never muster the courage to give it to her. I kept it for a long time with me and at the end tore it apart. And I felt relieved when I burned those pieces, like a heavy weight was lifted.
That was when i realised, I probably would not be able to confide in anybody like I did in paper. And I didn’t write for a long time after that. But when I did again, it was the heartbreak. The kind of pain I felt for the first time. And I again did confide in paper because I believed nobody would understand.
So writing and painting has always been an escape for me, a parallel universe, a magical world free of all the evils and demons and wrong doings. A place where flowers bloom never to perish, where birds sing never to stop, where you feel everything embracing you with open heart, where you don’t feel like an outcast.
This is my safe haven.
I believe each one of us should have one(safe haven). Each one of us is passionate about something, something that makes you forget everything for a while. Recognize it. And if you think you don’t have any, your prime motto should be to find one. Find that way through your pain.
It’s winter outside but it’s spring within me – blooming spring that has left me longing for everything. The sun, it’s warmth, the clear blue sky, the soft breeze. I long to go out , to talk , to play , to laugh and be just happy without any regret at the back of my mind. I want to walk on the soft green grass decorated with diamonds of dews. I want to feel the softness of the ground beneath it. I want to dance in the rain. I long to have friends.
It’s like an awakening, like a rush of blood going through my whole body. I have been breathing through the cracks in the windows that I closed long ago. I long to breathe in fresh air. The air around me is stale, it’s sickening.
My heart is beating fast and I am utterly confused. I don’t know what to do. I feel as if I’m going to burst but I know crying will help. Oh god, above all I long for crying and let it all out.
I long to be free once again.
I am more than your thoughts. I am more than your opinions. I am more than your criticisms. I am more than your narrow judgements. I am more than the hate you give. I am more than your jealousy. I refuse to look down on myself because you don’t approve of me. I refuse to be scared by your judgements. And I refuse to bow down in front of your criticisms because I know I am more, I am better. I am growing. I am growing stronger. I go in all the difficult directions. I choose to walk on paths filled with uncertainty. I rise above my fears. I learn from my pain. I am learning to forgive, myself and others both. I take my own decisions. I choose things and people that make me feel a little more alive. I choose to do whatever the hell I want. This is my life and I choose to ignore you, now and forever after now.
Because I know I am more, I am better.