This cheerful happy face is a veil that hides my real emotional self.
Pain taught me to write maybe that’s why I’m able to describe it so well. I believe paper is the most patient. It’s a friend like no other. You can write as much as you can, you can show them your inner self, you can expose your deepest wounds, you can share your greatest fear; basically you can do everything here that you don’t trust a human with. And you can do all this without any fear of being judged. Maybe that is the reason my ink flows better on these low days, because I write things that I feel I cannot share with anybody but my diary.
I remember the first time I wrote something was a letter to my mother , about how deeply hurt I was and how miserable I was feeling because of all the fiasco happening in my life at that point of time. But I could never muster the courage to give it to her. I kept it for a long time with me and at the end tore it apart. And I felt relieved when I burned those pieces, like a heavy weight was lifted.
That was when i realised, I probably would not be able to confide in anybody like I did in paper. And I didn’t write for a long time after that. But when I did again, it was the heartbreak. The kind of pain I felt for the first time. And I again did confide in paper because I believed nobody would understand.
So writing and painting has always been an escape for me, a parallel universe, a magical world free of all the evils and demons and wrong doings. A place where flowers bloom never to perish, where birds sing never to stop, where you feel everything embracing you with open heart, where you don’t feel like an outcast.
This is my safe haven.
I believe each one of us should have one(safe haven). Each one of us is passionate about something, something that makes you forget everything for a while. Recognize it. And if you think you don’t have any, your prime motto should be to find one. Find that way through your pain.