On some days it is all cloudy in my mind and all misty in front of my eyes, like these clouds are covering something, like this mist is here to steal something from me. And then it rains heavily from my eyes, when I realise that they’re here to take away my love – for myself.
And these tears are a proof that the cloud and the mist has succeeded in their mission -in taking away my self love – leaving behind only self hate. And on these days I curse myself for being me and only pray to dear lord that he didn’t hear it. That he didn’t hear me criticize his hard work and his lovely creation.
I write and think badly of myself and only hope that you don’t read it. And better don’t try to understand , because you won’t anyhow. Not everybody knows what it’s like to get drowned in the rains of self hate.
But I want you to know dear lord, that I am here to seek your forgiveness, for not acknowledging your hard work (in creating me), for not believing in your art (in myself). I want you to forgive me for all the curse words I use against your creation (me). I want you to forgive me for feeling sorry for you (me) being you (me)