Sometimes I sit back and enjoy the beauty of pretend. I mean it’s such a wonderful act and being pretentious is such a wonderful quality. By being pretentious you get to live things (life and feelings) that otherwise you only dream of.
Eg. You pretend to love someone without actually falling for them, because well, real love brings hurt and pain that nearly kills you. You have some fun with their feelings, exploit their genuine love for some time and then move on to a new person to repeat the excitement and coz you started feeling the weight of ennui in this relationship. It becomes stale for you. And you do it just for the fun it brings and for your own personal gains.
I wish I could be this pretentious, to be able to fake entire relationships. I wish I could pretend my inner feelings. Life looks so much better pretending. Like you can pretend to be happy and smiling on the outside even when every cell inside your body is undergoing an explosion and people will not even question you once about it. Because well, while you are pretending to be happy, they also are pretending not to notice your sadness.
The problem with me is that no matter how much I try, my facial expressions give me away. And I have been raised to believe that this inability(to pretend) is a blessing in disguise. But I feel that I have been cursed with an old soul and pure heart.