And the sad truth is that darling , it never truly heals – your heart. It can only ever be mended. You somehow fix it by picking up your pieces and putting them back in places , one by one , with whatever glue of love you are left with in the broken corners. You sew the broken pieces together with faith in yourself. And then you wait, a long wait. For what? Another blow having intensity higher than the previous one!
I love the idea of virgin hearts. I mean how they dance to the rythem of their own beats , how it looks full and plump with love and how it radiates red in your blood. But suddenly one day it becomes unable to sustain the love within its walls and it tells your mind to start trusting this person with this love that is dripping out of its facade. And you do it , not because you trust that person but because you trust your heart. You know no matter what but it will remain with you till your last breath. You handover this heart with dripping love in their hands hoping they will be gentle with it.
But that’s where you go wrong darling, that’s where your sin lies ; in trusting your heart and more than that in trusting that person with your heart and your love. Because well , that person is going to crush your love and is going to walk all over your broken pieces leaving a hole that you will never be able to fill. And this my darling you will come to know when you will witness black instead of red running in your veins.
I know this feeling. Have been there. The hollowness , the emptiness , the sadness and the darkness that is pulling you in its gravitation, I know it all. And this thing has taught me the lesson I will cherish for the rest of my life – to be gentle. I have learnt to be gentle with the love they give, to be gentle with the heart they place in my care. That one needs to be gentle with the delicate thing called faith that they plant in you. That one needs to be gentle with them words. And yet I know that sometimes, just sometimes, no matter how much you try to be gentle with their heart, it will not be enough. For you will feel their hurt in your bones. For you will feel their agony in your heart. You will not want to give them pain in return to their love, but you won’t have anything else other than tears to gift them. You will feel everything slipping out of your control. You feel you wronged them and no matter how hard you try to pretend that it doesn’t matter, you know that it does. And sometimes I feel why do I have to be like this, like different, like somebody who feels a little too much and then sometimes I wonder will it always matter as much as it does now.
And it is in these moments my dear heart that you need to be strong. You need to trust yourself and believe in your lessons and most of all you need to forgive yourself for not being able to return them what they actually deserved.