A part of me drowned in the ocean of your love.
The part I loved the most.
I don’t think I love you , but why does it feel like losing you will make my heart suffer from a drought- of love , of care , of belongingness.
I don’t know what this is because I have never felt anything like this before. I don’t feel the pain of a broken heart , I don’t cry over you. If I loved you shouldn’t I experience that excruciating pain on not being able to hear from you , on not being able to talk to you , on not being able to express myself to you or shouldn’t I be grieving you like a lost lover and wetting my pillow overnight? Instead I feel like a predator got away with a huge chunk of my soul , leaving a trail of darkness in the direction you left. I try to follow that trail but it vanishes into the shadows and I have to return to where I was. Shouldn’t I miss you like my heart is sinking and drowning in that darkness? Darling I don’t feel the tides from the shore of your absence making my heart drown. But then , not a single day goes when I don’t think of you. It is you on my mind , each night and every morning. I’m haunted by your presence in my mind. This is what scares me the most. Because I don’t think I was in love with you , but why does it feel as if the part of me that I loved the most has been washed away in the ocean? The part that cannot be replaced but the part I am never getting back.