I was terrified
of those silent moments with you
It was during that time
that my fears came alive
and whispers in my head
begin to shout
But , oh how could I avoid them
when I knew they meant the world to you.
Around you , my mind is boggled with doubts. I hear voices coming from the shadows and the deepest , darkest corners of my mind. They are all shouting , trying to grab my attention. But darling , I try my best to avoid them. They make me question – things – us. And I don’t want to believe them. I don’t know what I want. Maybe I want you. Maybe I love you. But sometimes these voices , make me think , do I really deserve you. And then those whispers said , ” You’ll hurt him.”
So I pushed you away – you stayed , I pulled away – you came back looking for me. You love me , I know. You asked me whether I loved you and so I had to tell you everything – what I was feeling , why I was feeling. And I hoped against hope that you’d stay – you stayed. That made me question even more – Am I really deserving of you? The fear that I will hurt you , grew manifold. I wish you could see it – the trepidation in my eyes and inquietude in my actions – specially in those silent moments we shared locking eyes with each other. I wish you could feel how terrified I was of such moments , moments that I know meant the world to you.