I am often confused to an extrovert given to my jovial and vivacious persona. It’s sort of true for the aura I emanate being an overcharged ball of energy around people which can be easily confused with one of those numerous deceptive skills that one can master.
Eh-guess it is one.
But inspite of this there is this hidden part of me who is always scared whenever I make contact with someone new. it’s a drag to be like the most emotional person who can get easily attached with people and who is afraid of the consequences of loosing them even before the attachment seeps in and your emotions over power you.
My life has always been about little things,those little moments which usually go unnoticed and the problem with me is that I cannot forget easily. I am very tenacious by nature and when it comes to people, I remember each and every person I have lost contact with due to whatsoever godforsaken reason.
It’s like each one of them have taken a part of me with them and it scares the hell outta me to even imagine myself being left hollow. What will happen if nothing of me is left? What will I become of myself then?
Sometimes I feel do other people also feel the same way? Do they also remember people like I do? Do they also miss them or think about them the same way as me?do they just act like nothing ever happened? Are they also bleeding and grieving inside? Or m I the only one with this extraterrestrial distorted DNA?
I was talking to one of my friends the other day. You know one of those nosey repugnant neighbor you have grown up hating and he sort of mocked me by saying that people tend to forget names in a matter of some days and here you are recalling days from years before remembering them to their finest details.
Well for me memories are just memories , not to be fading away in due course of time. So I just smiled and jerked him off.
Nevertheless it takes up a lot of courage for me to instigate a new venture with new people around and be ready to loose another part. But then it has always been about giving.