What actually is meant by forgiveness? Does it mean setting yourself free or setting that person free from your grudges?
It is one of the bravest act to forgive the person who has left nothing behind to rip your soul apart and tattered your heart by breaking it and walking onto those pieces crushing them under his feet.
And none of this hurts as much as the broken trust. She mourns the trust she gave you braving all the doubts. We are told ways to forgive and trust me you just cannot find the one suitable for you. Forgiveness once the trust is broken requires double the effort we put in to trust.
And when you are finally able to push forgiveness down your gut in the hope to free yourself you are actually making it a part of you. And no matter how much you try to ignore or deny afterwards you cannot let it out of your system. And now you are faced by a greater challenge : to forget. Greater coz forgiveness was the battle between you and him but forgetting is the battle between you and your ghost.
Which is more easy : to forgive or to forget? Can forgiveness happen without forgetting or can you forget without forgiving?
While the former can happen latter cannot. So she chooses to settle down with the former. Once you choose to forgive , forgetting becomes a lifelong process and my women are ready for it. My mum once told me “forgiving and forgetting is an art and not everybody can learn it”. While I am good at the former I am equally bad at the latter.